Love

I have noticed a pattern.

It started with Mr. Smith. He wanted to fly, he wanted a passion, in other words, he wanted to be able to love something enough to be able to do it. The only problem is, he died to soon for him to tell us his story.

Macon Dead wanted success, control, intelligence and prestige. He wanted to make something of his life. Appearance became everything. When something appeard wrong, he hated it and dispised it. "Money is freedom" (p.163), he says to his son, but it isn't at all. Once you have a little bit, you want more and more and more. He tried so hard to have everything, that he forgot to love what he did have, and therefore lost it.

Ruth, she wants a constant companion, she wants to be cared for, she wants to be loved and to be allowed to love in return. she is "small" (p. 124), she claims, but in making herself a victim, and by not living life, and loving life, and loving those in her life, she is not capable of being loved.

Guitar then comes along. He says he loves. "It's about loving us" (p.159), he defends his position. But really, he is competeing in the human race, trying to keep things even between the "white" team and the "black" team. But, he is missing the whole point of love. A murder for a murder. It sounds so familar, like that of "an eye for an eye", but it just doesn't sound right. Real love is turning the other cheek. Instead of trying to keep things fair by doing wrong, why not trying to improve things by doing good? He could help his people instead of trying to make their ratios equal. By murdering, he is doing nothing but becoming a killing machine, and has lost all love.

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Ruth, Macon Dead, Guitar and Pilate have all sung their own Songs of Solomon in a way, by lamenting and telling of what hass happened to them, and their lovers.

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The Bible, Sin, and Dreams

We went as a class to check out the novel written by Toni Morrison called Song of Solomon. I was looking forward to this. It was written by a black woman, and I was sure it would be much different than anything previously placed in my hands. Of course, before I read it, I was thinking about the title. Song of Solomon. Solomon, a figure from the bible, was a king known initially for his devoutness toward God, who granted him the gift of supreme knowledge, and wealth. Yet later, his idoltrous sin tears him away from God, ruining not only himself, but his entire kingdom as well. Therefore, I thought that this book would be similar to a story of Solomon.

The first captor of my attention was Mr. Smith's attempt at flying, and the lack of anyone trying to stop him. I had a feeling that they all wished that they could take the same steps he was taking, but lacked courage to try to "fly." Then, on page 9, "when the little boy discovered, at four, the same thing Mr. Smith had learned earlier - thta only birds adn airplanes could fly - he lost all interest in himself." This discussion about flying led me to believe that they were not only talking about flapping your wings, but to be able to rise above other people, to let your feet off of the ground, and to rise above the world and the people of the world. I think that they wanted to soar, to be able to experience life like an inanimate object, with no worries, or like a simple creature, not having to participate with everyone around themselves, or to be unconscious of what others were doing, and expecting them to do.

The first biblical reference which really stood out to me, was the account of the naming of Macon Dead's sister: Pilate. Pilate was the authorizor of Jesus' crucifixion. Yet, the way in which this name was chosen also holds significant meaning. Her father simply ran his finger through the Holy Book, and saw an arrangement of lines and loops which was attractive. He didn't know what they meant, or the background behind them. He simply chose it. This reminds me of the belief of predestination. Where someone - whether it be God, or fate - choses your life, actions, birth, death and everything inbetween for you. You don't get a choice, you don't have decisions, everything is laid out before you even before you can start to talk. The "mistakes" you make, the "good luck" you have...those words become meaningless, since everything was planned from the start anyway. This pertains to what is going on in the novel, too, concerning their skin color: black. They didn't get to choose, or to choose which family they were born into. No, someone decided it for them. And they just have to deal with it.

On page 22, Mrs. Bains says "A nigger in business is a terrible thing to see. A terrible, terrible thing to see." First of all, the n-word obviously stood out. Yet, used among their own kind, it does not hold an offensive meaning, more of an identifaction of who you were. Secondly, she repeats what she says - and she is old. When an old person repeats something, it must be important. But, I couldn't identify the importance, just the fact that it was heart wrenching to read that.

"But if the future did not arrive, the present did extend itself" p.35.

"Got his name mesed up cause he couldn't read" p.53.

As Milkman is describing his dream to Guitar on page 106, I get the faint impression that they are living in a dream themselves. Not a dream as in wow this is all wonderful, but a dream where you can't run fast away from a monster, or a dream where you simply watch yourself walk through an entire day, only to wake up and have to go through the same thing you dreamed. Except they aren't waking up. They're only going through the motions. They aren't doing anything with their lives. They are going to let "flowers" "smuther" them. But, no one will help them, because it looked like they were "having fun," and they won't try to help themselves, because they will "like" how they are living. Yet, the fact that they were discussing someone else's dream also brings into mind the fact that they don't have a dream. They don't have a burning desire, something to strive for. Their ancestors dreamed of freedom. Freedom to be their own selves, to do what they wanted to do. To live. But are their offspring living? From my point of view, no. They are not living. Who is going to remember them when they leave? What will they leave behind? So far, nothing. Nothing. Nothing at all. Sure, they go by every day doing what all humans do, but is that enough? Will they finish the novel with something worthy of notice? We can only keep reading to find out...

More Thoughts About The End

If Kurtz really is the idea to conquor the earth, then his words must also be part of that idea. "Exterminate all the brutes" p.123 he wrote. "Everything belonged to him" p. 121. But, he "was little more than a voice" p. 120, and voice can do nothing but speak. They can promise falsely, make plans, discuss various topics, but they cannot do anything. It is the body which carries out the voice's commands. And who is then the body in this story?

The blacks, of course. Their bodies are constantly being described. Their "black" skin, their strong muscles, their breaking, weak, and emaciated bodies. Their labour is directed by the voice - the voices of their masters.

But then, two more descriptions come into play.

That of the "Buddha" - Marlow - the enlightened one. He knows what happened. He knows what was going on. He talks, and talks - and his listeners are so silent, we don't know they are there. Why did he not talk to others? Enlighten them? Now, no one takes him seriously, "it was just like Marlow...No one took the trouble to grunt even" p.68.

And that of those who sat with him. We are unsure if they even payed much attention. One must have, for he - every so often, interrupted Marlow's story with a slight account of what was happening, or what he thought. But the others - who knows. And at the end of the novel, and story, they just moved on as if they had never heard Marlow's words.

We are the others, by we, I mean readers. We read the book, but we didn't comment, or break Marlow's train of thought, we did not ask him. We had questions, we skipped over words he said, we sometimes even dosed off amidst his rambling. But every so often, we were the attentive listener. Yet, at the end, they picked up with their lives, and moved on. Just like we will. After turning the last page, we will go on with our lives, and only every so often visit what knowledge Marlow informed us of.

Dark Justice

Marlow, at the end of the Heart of Darkness, concludes how he started: the "idea" "is not a pretty thing when you look into it too much" p.69. That is why he didn't tell Kurtz's love what his last words were, and instead, lied, creating a more romantic and beautiful image of his last moment. He didn't want her to know how awful and terrible the end was. He "could not tell her. It would have been too dark- too dark altogether" p. 157. Even though all Kurtz wanted was for "justice" p. 157, Marlow could not even grant him that.

So, what does this all mean? Kurtz is the "idea" Marlow had been speaking of. The idea to conquor the earth. His love is the rest of the world, "the commonplace individulas going about their business in the assurance of perfect safety" p.150. They know nothing of the outside world, and therefore look to the survivors of such excursions as Marlow's, to bring back the information of what is happening. But, it is not their fault they don't know the truth. It is the liar's fault - Marlow's - or the adventurers in general. He could have reported the truth, "dark" as it was. But, instead, he kept it to himself, and spared the world's feelings. And his return marked no step closer to justice, dark as it was.

Thoughts About Marlow and Me

Because of the extensive and colorful story Marlow has been telling to his silent companions, I did some research, in order to contextualize the information being presented.

According to BBC, Europeans mainly stuck to the outskirts of the Continent during the 19th century. In 1807, the abolition of the slave trade by the British resulted in their frequent patrolling around the coasts to stop other slave ships.

Because Marlow is speaking English, and is wearing "European clothes" p. 69, I can only assume that he is from Britain. So, he must have visited Africa before 1807, seeing as one of his major descriptions was that of three black slaves hauling cargo up a mountain, guarded by a white man with a gun.

However, Europeans did not frequently go anywhere but to the coasts during this time period, therefore I can now understand how shocked his companions were when they found out that he would be going to the "blank spot" on the map.

The reactions no longer seem very far fetched, and I can sympathize with them.

It wasn't long ago when my friends and family reacted in similar ways when told I would be moving to South America. Questions and comments arose that would make many people gasp in offense as to the mere suggestion of such ideas of their beloved home.

But why did both of our friends and family say things like this? Because of the information they gathered from the media: the biased, one sided, and tunnel-like-view of the outside world.

People have a hard time trying to figure out how anyone could live lives different from their own. It is human nature to assume that your life is the normal, and average lifestyle everyone else is living.

The unknown can be scarry, different can be scarry.

But somehow, Marlow was able to put everyone else's worries aside, and persist with his dream of visiting the blank spot on the map. And that shows courage.

Four Quotes Characterizing Marlow

Marlow, the storyteller, talks on and on, describing each detail of his travels. It is clear that he still lives in the past even though, it appears, to have been quite a long time ago. Yet as he relates what happened to the drifting, and possibly sleeping, men, some statements reveal much about his character, and who he is as a person.

His loneliness shines through when he says: "we live, as we dream - alone..." (p. 95). Did he never settle down, and stop traveling? Does he not have family? Right now, he is speaking mainly to himself, with no interuptions from his companions, was this a silent cry for compassion? Is he looking for more to life than just his past?

Later on, he says: "I don't like work - no man does - but I like what is in the work - the chance to find yourself." p. 97. Considering that this man has already traveled to different places, and returned, it is most likely true that he is in his later years. Therefore, why would he still be trying to find himself? Or maybe, he is reflecting on the way he found himself so many years ago, with his hard work.

When he accounts: "To tear treasure out of the bowels of the land was their desire, with no more moral purpose at the back of it than there is in burglars breaking into a safe" p. 99, we see how the environment affected him. No longer did he simply pass by, absorbing what was going on, now he starts to judge and make his own remarks to what others are doing. Before hand, he merely took note of what was going on. Now, he is reacting. This shows growth as a character.

Not only is he reacting to people, he is also becoming more sensitive to the feelings within the community, shown with this quote from page 103: "And this stillness of life did not in the least resemble a peace."

What is Marlow trying to show his companions with these stories of his passed experiences? Is he warning them? Or is he just trying to relive his youthful days?

I went back to the beginning of the book, to see what led Marlow to this recollection, and realized that his first sentence did not seem to stand alone very well: "And this also has been one of the dark places of the earth" (p.67). Then, confused, and not remembering this part very well, I read on to see how his companions responded: "His remark did not seem at all surprising. It was just like Marlow. It was accepted in silence. No one took the trouble to grunt even; and presently he said, very slowly -- " (p. 68).

Now having this fresh in my head, I am receiving a slightly different picture of Marlow. He is probably like an old grandfather, his mental health slightly declining, but his respectable status amongst his companions ever remaining the same, for his great span of knowledge and past experiences.

Hesitation

I wasn't far into the novel Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad, when a single phrase spoken by a monologuing character caught my attention. He said: "[I] had a moment -- I won't say of hesitation, but of startled pause, before this commonplace affair" (p.77).

What caught my notice, was the denial of hesitation. Why would he not feel hesitation at the beginning of a dangerous and scorned journey? His peers obviously do not agree with his decision to leave to the unknown, and many even make the impression they do not believe he will return. Therefore, what normal human being would deny any hint at hesitation at all?

Hesitation is a normal human behaviour. Most people hesitate before acting in a way not accepted by society. In fact, most people hesitate - or think - before doing anything. In fact, hesitate may as well be considered simply thinking before acting.

So, why is this monologuing man not accounting for the thinking which went into his planned travels?

I believe that he either did think, but did not want to own up and admit to his slight hesitation, or is just plain dumb, and did not think at all before leaving.

As a child, most people are told by their parents to think before acting, and things will go well for you. Perhaps he grew up without parents, or he considers himself to high and mighty to need that little bit of second guessing.

Anyhow, the fact that he states he did not hesitate draws the attention, whether or not it is a true statement.

"My Second Self"

We all have a secret part of us which we keep hidden from the rest of the world. It might be that you enjoy singing in the shower, or maybe, you spend an hour getting ready in the morning for perfection. Personally, I enjoy putting on the most obnoxious music and dancing like Shakira. But the point of all of this is, that these little things we do, we do in the secret of our own rooms, or homes. These little moments of free behaviour help us to identify ourselves. The things you do when you are by yourself show what kind of a person you really are.

Therefore, in The Secret Sharer, by Joseph Conrad, when the captain of the ship comes into contact with his other "self," we can feel a huge amount of surprise. Is he figuratively saying his "other self," or is he really mentally challenged, and creating another person whom he identifies as his "double?" Could this be the self which he hides from the rest of the world? As we read on, it is most likely that there is, in fact, another person, because with which the detailed history of this person is acounted for. However, the significance of the repeated fact that the captain believes this person to be his double keeps increasing, especially with the extraordinary way he tries to put his crew at ease, and hide his new companion. Companion this man seems to be, for he asses the way this murderer reacts when told of a ship's sighting, and seems to hold some kind of affection for the castaway.

Although the author elludes to the possibility of the captain being insane, he puts that idea to rest iwth the thought from the captain himself: "It was very much like bing mad, only it was worse because one was aware of it" (p.37). Therefore we know for a fact that the man is not mad, or else he would deny it.

This book can also be related to The Cherry Orchard, because the captain and his rescuee answer eachother with certain monologues or facts about themselves.

As chapter 1 came to a close, I felt a sudden impulse to keep reading. This book, filled with mystery as to what will happen to this second man, and who the first man - the captain - actually is, leaves me with a feeling of wonder, and excitement. Hopefully, the chapters will hold my attention and interest until the end of the work.